There’s this woman who has a crush on all the people who’ve helped her, including me. I want to be supportive of her gaining independence and self-confidence (we’re all in our early 20’s), but I don’t want to be romantically entangled with someone who so easily clings to her “saviors.” I don’t even want to be a … Continue reading How Do I Avoid Romance With Someone Who Is Manipulating Me?

I work with someone who, I am sure, thinks of himself as a “nice guy.” He regularly addresses women in late middle age as “young lady,” including me (we are both in our mid-50s). He thinks he is being gallant. I would really like to help him to understand that this is a microaggression, but I don’t want … Continue reading How Do I Cope With Sexist Microaggressions At Work?

How do I handle my kid’s BFF’s mother? I’m having an issue and I can’t figure out how to approach it. My kid will confide in her BFF, and the BFF will tell her mom– all of that is fine. Then the BFF’s mom will join me in a group of chatting parents and will bring up what … Continue reading How Do I Handle My Kid’s BFF’s Judgmental Mother?

I’m a gay man in my 40s with some friends who have a big case of white gay privilege. When we talk about other parts of the LGBT community, there’s a lot of eye-rolling if the subject is anyone other than a white gay man (and they still think that bisexuals “just haven’t chosen a team … Continue reading What’s Your Advice For Educating My Ignorant White Gay Male Peers?

My partner is by far the dominant personality in our relationship and struggles with crushing waves of negativity towards herself, but that’s not why I’m writing.I’ve read advice columns since I was a kid, I know all about how people don’t change in the fundamentals, and I long ago made my decision that even though … Continue reading Who Helps the Helper?

I recently ended a rather long relationship with a rather heavy dose of Paxil. I tapered off from 40mg a day over a month down to nothing, and have been off it totally for about two weeks. I expected (and got) dump trucks of emotions backed up to my yard, and I’m still sorting through them. This is … Continue reading Should I Dump Him, Or Is This Paxil Withdrawal Talking?

I am a single woman in my fifties. I’ve been married twice, and have dated a fair amount, but at this time I’m not seeking out romantic relationships. What drives me crazy is when people — and I’m not talking about friends here — just acquaintances, ask me about my dating life. (“Are you seeing anyone? Are you … Continue reading Can I Be Caustic When Responding To Intrusive Questions About My Love Life?

I am a member of a very progressive Mennonite Christian church that welcomes everyone, regardless of their belief system, sexuality, gender, etc. The church members are dedicated to solving social and justice issues, believing in peaceful solutions rather than military. This church could almost be called a type of Unitarian Church. However, the Sunday services are still centered … Continue reading Am I A Hypocrite For Attending Church As An Agnostic?

My incredibly loving mother-in-law is the cleanest person I know. Her house, car, clothes, and body are all spotless. When we had children she said: “Please don’t let them be dirty.” When I send the kids to visit, she asks me to “send good clothes.” Although my house is relatively organized by parents-of-young-children-standards and I have … Continue reading How Do I Get My Mother-In-Law To Stop Cleaning?

Thank you for your advice about smalltalk.  I have a follow-up  question. How do you politely disengage from small talk? I don’t mind chatting with a random stranger for a minute or two, but I don’t want to get stuck awkwardly trying to keep up a conversation with them for half an hour. And I have. It’s easier at parties … Continue reading How Do I Politely Exit A Conversation?