How do I explain to my kids that there’s a whole lot of heteronormativity and monogamous expectation in the world? They’ve been raised a-religiously, around a lot of queer, alternative relationship structures and around people who are gender variant, and thus far haven’t absorbed the idea that there’s a whole world of “relationships are one born-man … Continue reading How Do I Talk To My Children About Heteronormativity?

My fiancé and I are both femme bi women and every time we are out and  about, minding our own business (while shopping, having brunch, going  to the gym, etc), someone inevitably asks us if we’re related. Or assumes we are sisters (the brother of a groom at a gay wedding!). Or, worse, mother and daughter (LGBT-friendly … Continue reading My Fiancé Is Not My Twin Sister

I deeply love and am committed to my partner. I love her, love being with her, and love our relationship. I want to be a great partner in a healthy, loving way. We’ve been through a few tough situations- a kid in the hospital, work stuff, etc and she and I usually work through it really well. This … Continue reading My Partner Loves Her Sick Cat More Than Her Family

I’m rebuilding my social life after some hard times that included changes in where and with whom I spent time.  So far so good, though I’m still shaky and shy on the inside a lot. But I’m taking steps and seeing good initial results. Now I want to find places to hang out with other genderqueer and/or kinky … Continue reading How Do I Make New Friends?

I’m going blindo. I have night blindness and some peripheral vision loss, but I’m nowhere near legally blind and don’t need a cane yet. It basically means I take a little longer to get around, especially in the dark, since I have to scan back and forth to get the whole picture (if that makes any sense).  … Continue reading How Does Someone Refuse Unhelpful ‘Help’?

I really want to know how to be perceived as queer in public. I am a femme-presenting queer, and I find myself exhausted lately by the constant coming out that I’ve been doing, even in places where I think I’ve dropped every hint except tattooing a rainbow across my forehead. I spent last Thursday night defining the … Continue reading How Do I Increase My Queer Visibility?

My eight-year-old child is on-again, off-again friends with a kid, L., in his/her school. They have a lot in common and sometimes they are very close, but sometimes L. hurts my child’s feelings intentionally. I feel like L. is a bad friend and I want to tell my child to just DTMFA, (Dump The Motherfucker Already) but am I … Continue reading Someone Is Being Mean To My Kid

My wedding was a month ago, and things aren’t going very well. My husband is withholding sex. He has done this before, and I know you are probably going to say I shouldn’t have married someone so childish and selfish. But, I did, and now I just need to figure out what to do going forward. I’ve given him … Continue reading I Just Got Married And It Isn’t Going Well

Please help me understand and deal with my introverted relatives! I am extroverted and thrive on interaction with others. When I have been left alone without human contact for too long, I begin to go a little batty. Over Thanksgiving, my sibling + spouse + kids came over to my folks’ place for dinner. I watched as my sibling … Continue reading Are My Relatives Introverts Or Just Jerks?

I’ve seen a lot of talk about combating bi and femme invisibility lately, which is pretty great. But I’m still struggling with some conflicting feelings. How do I, a bisexual, femme woman in a long-term relationship with a man celebrate who I am without seeming like I’m just trying to join a Special Pony parade? Let’s be … Continue reading It’s Complicated