Hi Gentle Butch,I need better excuses to get out of socializing with my inlaws. There are get-togethers about once a month and I can only be sick so often, believably. I can't blame allergies because they clean better than I do and have fewer pets. They aren't horrible people, but the gatherings are really dull … Continue reading How do I get out of unpleasant in-law gatherings?
self care
Is trying a new thing when you’re struggling with PTSD a crime?
Dear Gentle Butch, After being unable to work anywhere except for our farm for many years because of debilitating PTSD, my health is improving. I am going back to school and have been accepted to do a full-time summer internship. People who are close to me say my health is good enough to at least … Continue reading Is trying a new thing when you’re struggling with PTSD a crime?
How to handle unpleasant and unsolicited parenting advice?
Dear Gentle Butch, What is the correct response to strangers telling me to put a hat/coat/socks/shoes/etc on my baby who is comfortable, happy, and not cold? -- The Baby's Mom Dear TBM, The correct response is, and it is perfectly gentle: "Go fuck yourself." I'm being gentle on you, not on them, obviously. It … Continue reading How to handle unpleasant and unsolicited parenting advice?
Writer asks why on earth someone who is such a mess herself thinks that she can give advice
(Spoiler alert: the writer is me.) Dear Gentle Butch, It is I, Gentle Butch, come back from an unintentional hiatus. The thing is that I started having multiple flashbacks a day and dissociating constantly. I couldn't function at work, and I couldn't concentrate on anything. I couldn't write. Like, at ALL. So, I quit writing … Continue reading Writer asks why on earth someone who is such a mess herself thinks that she can give advice
She misses romance and sex. Is her disability getting in the way?
Hello, lovely, I hope you are well! It sure is tricky to bundle all your backstory into a few brief sentences, isn't it? Here we go. I'm single, and not unhappy, but I miss romantic touch and sex. I'd adore having my own (or heck, multiple!) lover/s. Even a full-on Relationship, if I found the … Continue reading She misses romance and sex. Is her disability getting in the way?
How can this exhausted and burned out mom stop feeling bad about feeling bad?
Dear Gentle Butch, My husband and I had our second child a little over a year ago, and we've been having a really rough time. Our daughter had a fairly run-of-the mill infancy and is now a bright, verbal, inquisitive, high-energy four-year-old. Our son doesn't have any serious medical issues or anything, but he was … Continue reading How can this exhausted and burned out mom stop feeling bad about feeling bad?
Is it okay to ask my upstairs neighbors to take down old decorations that are a fire hazard?
Dear Gentle Butch, I live in a duplex and the upstairs neighbor had a new roommate move in a few months back. She's apparently told my husband that she likes to "celebrate all the holidays at once!" which sounds whimsical and charming until the rotting pumpkins... now those were finally disposed of, but there are … Continue reading Is it okay to ask my upstairs neighbors to take down old decorations that are a fire hazard?
Is this couple childish, sullen, petty, and very immature for having feelings?
Dear Gentle Butch, A few years ago, my husband and I introduced two of our best friends (a couple) to another pair of our best friends (our cousins). All of these friends are about ten years younger than us, and run in somewhat different circles. Now, these two couples we love often hang out together … Continue reading Is this couple childish, sullen, petty, and very immature for having feelings?
How do I support my awful coworker’s daughter?
Dear Gentle Butch, I work in a small office of only a few people. My least-favorite coworker (I'll call her Susan) has a teenage daughter (Hannah), who is queer, but is not out to her family. (It's complicated how I came to know this.) And, while I have met Hannah a few times, we don't … Continue reading How do I support my awful coworker’s daughter?
Yet another woman thinks everything’s her fault.
Dear Gentle Butch, There was a guy, "Joel," who I had some feelings for and ended up sleeping with once (we were both single at the time). After that happened, we never actually spoke about it, which was occasionally awkward since we both did a lot of work for the same small organization and had … Continue reading Yet another woman thinks everything’s her fault.
The Gentle Butch 