Hi Gentle Butch,I need better excuses to get out of socializing with my inlaws. There are get-togethers about once a month and I can only be sick so often, believably. I can't blame allergies because they clean better than I do and have fewer pets. They aren't horrible people, but the gatherings are really dull … Continue reading How do I get out of unpleasant in-law gatherings?
Dear Gentle Butch, I'm demisexual and I'm 23 (she/her), I'm dating a 24 yo woman, we have been together for 6 years (4 before she came out as trans girl). Months before quarantine she express she wanted to experience sex with men, but didn't wanted to break up cause she still loved me. Since we … Continue reading Is it cheating or polyamory?
Dear Gentle Butch, My young adult trans son gave us his Christmas wish list today, and it includes a packer as one of his top three wants. He sent a link to one that is very realistic-looking. I want to affirm him, but I blush at the thought of buying him a mail-order penis. Should … Continue reading Should I buy my son a mail-order penis?
Hello, lovely, I hope you are well! It sure is tricky to bundle all your backstory into a few brief sentences, isn't it? Here we go. I'm single, and not unhappy, but I miss romantic touch and sex. I'd adore having my own (or heck, multiple!) lover/s. Even a full-on Relationship, if I found the … Continue reading She misses romance and sex. Is her disability getting in the way?
Dear Gentle Butch, I’m physically disabled and neuro divergent with a best friend who is also neuro divergent and my aide. We’ve been best friends for seven or eight years, we have a dog together, we love doing things together, we’re roommates, and she has recently become my PCA*. A couple months ago, we hit … Continue reading How do I handle my best friend’s anger?
Dear Gentle Butch, My husband and I had our second child a little over a year ago, and we've been having a really rough time. Our daughter had a fairly run-of-the mill infancy and is now a bright, verbal, inquisitive, high-energy four-year-old. Our son doesn't have any serious medical issues or anything, but he was … Continue reading How can this exhausted and burned out mom stop feeling bad about feeling bad?
Dear Gentle Butch, I'm a woman in my mid-50's, and through great privilege and luck I'm able to support myself by working as a writing/editing/website contractor just a few months per year, and go on some great trips, too. I call myself semi-retired. Due to bipolar and some physical limitations, it's hard for me to work full-time for more … Continue reading How do I deal with other people’s resentment?
Dear Gentle Butch, I have been in therapy for all of my adult life, and have been doing my work and making a ton of progress on myself. As a result, I've been generally feeling better, and have had the good fortune to meet a new cute person whom I've been dating for a little … Continue reading How do I keep it slow with someone I’m really into?
Dear Gentle Butch, My oldest son has become an unapologetic racist. He has opined that black and Hispanic people are unintelligent, destructive, and without self control. He has told me and my husband that we’re naïve and can’t face facts we don’t like. His comments on these subjects have ranged from dispassionate observations to mean-spirited … Continue reading How do I handle my unapologetically racist son?
Dear Gentle Butch, I am the luckiest woman, engaged to a sweet, soft butch (my term, not hers) who loves me as much as I love her. One of the things that I love most about her is how she loves so many friends and family and builds deep, emotional relationships. On the other hand, … Continue reading Her fiancé’s oversharing gets under her skin.