Dear Gentle Butch, I'm demisexual and I'm 23 (she/her), I'm dating a 24 yo woman, we have been together for 6 years (4 before she came out as trans girl). Months before quarantine she express she wanted to experience sex with men, but didn't wanted to break up cause she still loved me. Since we … Continue reading Is it cheating or polyamory?
Queerness
Should I buy my son a mail-order penis?
Dear Gentle Butch, My young adult trans son gave us his Christmas wish list today, and it includes a packer as one of his top three wants. He sent a link to one that is very realistic-looking. I want to affirm him, but I blush at the thought of buying him a mail-order penis. Should … Continue reading Should I buy my son a mail-order penis?
How do I keep it slow with someone I’m really into?
Dear Gentle Butch, I have been in therapy for all of my adult life, and have been doing my work and making a ton of progress on myself. As a result, I've been generally feeling better, and have had the good fortune to meet a new cute person whom I've been dating for a little … Continue reading How do I keep it slow with someone I’m really into?
Her fiancé’s oversharing gets under her skin.
Dear Gentle Butch, I am the luckiest woman, engaged to a sweet, soft butch (my term, not hers) who loves me as much as I love her. One of the things that I love most about her is how she loves so many friends and family and builds deep, emotional relationships. On the other hand, … Continue reading Her fiancé’s oversharing gets under her skin.
How do I support my awful coworker’s daughter?
Dear Gentle Butch, I work in a small office of only a few people. My least-favorite coworker (I'll call her Susan) has a teenage daughter (Hannah), who is queer, but is not out to her family. (It's complicated how I came to know this.) And, while I have met Hannah a few times, we don't … Continue reading How do I support my awful coworker’s daughter?
Can I still make a woman orgasm?
Dear Gentle Butch, I'm a fairly well adjusted single lesbian. I've had female lovers since I was a teenager, and have had a fairly fun and active sex life. However. My last two major relationships were with women who could not orgasm. So, it's literally been more than 8 years since I've gotten a woman … Continue reading Can I still make a woman orgasm?
How do I break up with my massage therapist?
How do I break up with my massage therapist? I have been seeing a massage therapist for almost a year, and I have recently developed very strong feelings for him. There is no chance of me pursuing a relationship with him — aside from his professional obligation to not date clients, he is straight and … Continue reading How do I break up with my massage therapist?
The Gentle Butch 