Dear Gentle Butch, My young adult trans son gave us his Christmas wish list today, and it includes a packer as one of his top three wants. He sent a link to one that is very realistic-looking. I want to affirm him, but I blush at the thought of buying him a mail-order penis. Should … Continue reading Should I buy my son a mail-order penis?
parenting
How to handle unpleasant and unsolicited parenting advice?
Dear Gentle Butch, What is the correct response to strangers telling me to put a hat/coat/socks/shoes/etc on my baby who is comfortable, happy, and not cold? -- The Baby's Mom Dear TBM, The correct response is, and it is perfectly gentle: "Go fuck yourself." I'm being gentle on you, not on them, obviously. It … Continue reading How to handle unpleasant and unsolicited parenting advice?
How can this exhausted and burned out mom stop feeling bad about feeling bad?
Dear Gentle Butch, My husband and I had our second child a little over a year ago, and we've been having a really rough time. Our daughter had a fairly run-of-the mill infancy and is now a bright, verbal, inquisitive, high-energy four-year-old. Our son doesn't have any serious medical issues or anything, but he was … Continue reading How can this exhausted and burned out mom stop feeling bad about feeling bad?
How do I handle my unapologetically racist son?
Dear Gentle Butch, My oldest son has become an unapologetic racist. He has opined that black and Hispanic people are unintelligent, destructive, and without self control. He has told me and my husband that we’re naïve and can’t face facts we don’t like. His comments on these subjects have ranged from dispassionate observations to mean-spirited … Continue reading How do I handle my unapologetically racist son?
How do I support my awful coworker’s daughter?
Dear Gentle Butch, I work in a small office of only a few people. My least-favorite coworker (I'll call her Susan) has a teenage daughter (Hannah), who is queer, but is not out to her family. (It's complicated how I came to know this.) And, while I have met Hannah a few times, we don't … Continue reading How do I support my awful coworker’s daughter?
The Gentle Butch 