CONTENT WARNING: links below contain horrible misogyny and violence. Dear Gentle Butch, Hello, I am a white, heterosexual male and I am having trouble chatting up women. Could you give me some advice please? Thank you for your time! Dear WHM, Oh, honey no. No, I cannot give you advice about chatting up women, even … Continue reading How can a straight white guy hit on women?
communication
How do I get out of unpleasant in-law gatherings?
Hi Gentle Butch,I need better excuses to get out of socializing with my inlaws. There are get-togethers about once a month and I can only be sick so often, believably. I can't blame allergies because they clean better than I do and have fewer pets. They aren't horrible people, but the gatherings are really dull … Continue reading How do I get out of unpleasant in-law gatherings?
Is it cheating or polyamory?
Dear Gentle Butch, I'm demisexual and I'm 23 (she/her), I'm dating a 24 yo woman, we have been together for 6 years (4 before she came out as trans girl). Months before quarantine she express she wanted to experience sex with men, but didn't wanted to break up cause she still loved me. Since we … Continue reading Is it cheating or polyamory?
Should I buy my son a mail-order penis?
Dear Gentle Butch, My young adult trans son gave us his Christmas wish list today, and it includes a packer as one of his top three wants. He sent a link to one that is very realistic-looking. I want to affirm him, but I blush at the thought of buying him a mail-order penis. Should … Continue reading Should I buy my son a mail-order penis?
How to handle unpleasant and unsolicited parenting advice?
Dear Gentle Butch, What is the correct response to strangers telling me to put a hat/coat/socks/shoes/etc on my baby who is comfortable, happy, and not cold? -- The Baby's Mom Dear TBM, The correct response is, and it is perfectly gentle: "Go fuck yourself." I'm being gentle on you, not on them, obviously. It … Continue reading How to handle unpleasant and unsolicited parenting advice?
Writer asks why on earth someone who is such a mess herself thinks that she can give advice
(Spoiler alert: the writer is me.) Dear Gentle Butch, It is I, Gentle Butch, come back from an unintentional hiatus. The thing is that I started having multiple flashbacks a day and dissociating constantly. I couldn't function at work, and I couldn't concentrate on anything. I couldn't write. Like, at ALL. So, I quit writing … Continue reading Writer asks why on earth someone who is such a mess herself thinks that she can give advice
She misses romance and sex. Is her disability getting in the way?
Hello, lovely, I hope you are well! It sure is tricky to bundle all your backstory into a few brief sentences, isn't it? Here we go. I'm single, and not unhappy, but I miss romantic touch and sex. I'd adore having my own (or heck, multiple!) lover/s. Even a full-on Relationship, if I found the … Continue reading She misses romance and sex. Is her disability getting in the way?
So now we can’t even say hi to a service dog?
Dear Gentle Butch, I know we aren't supposed to touch service dogs, but we can look at them, right? What if the dog approaches us first? I was walking toward a woman with a service dog on the sidewalk, and her dog was so incredibly cute! It was a beautiful shiny black Lab bursting with … Continue reading So now we can’t even say hi to a service dog?
How do I handle my best friend’s anger?
Dear Gentle Butch, I’m physically disabled and neuro divergent with a best friend who is also neuro divergent and my aide. We’ve been best friends for seven or eight years, we have a dog together, we love doing things together, we’re roommates, and she has recently become my PCA*. A couple months ago, we hit … Continue reading How do I handle my best friend’s anger?
How do I interpret my partner’s messages?
My long-term partner and I have been bouncing around the general thoughts that long-term partners have sometimes, about wanting the excitement that comes with the start of a relationship and how kids drain the energy from being together and so forth. Sometimes, in these conversations, she brings the topic around to open relationships, but in … Continue reading How do I interpret my partner’s messages?
The Gentle Butch 