My incredibly loving mother-in-law is the cleanest person I know. Her house, car, clothes, and body are all spotless. When we had children she said: “Please don’t let them be dirty.” When I send the kids to visit, she asks me to “send good clothes.” Although my house is relatively organized by parents-of-young-children-standards and I have … Continue reading How Do I Get My Mother-In-Law To Stop Cleaning?

Thank you for your advice about smalltalk.  I have a follow-up  question. How do you politely disengage from small talk? I don’t mind chatting with a random stranger for a minute or two, but I don’t want to get stuck awkwardly trying to keep up a conversation with them for half an hour. And I have. It’s easier at parties … Continue reading How Do I Politely Exit A Conversation?

I was at a social function this weekend, surrounded by dear friends and their drunk spouses. Toward the end of the evening, I was followed out to the car by a drunk spouse, who wanted to tell me that he wanted to have sex with me (among other things). That’s not going to happen, but I’m not … Continue reading What Should I Do About My Friend’s Drunken Spouse Harassing Me??

My nephew is a wonderful young teen with autism.  He is an intelligent, interesting, and caring person, and his parents (with the support of the rest of us) are doing an outstanding job of getting him the therapies and assistance he needs to learn the stuff that’s less intuitive for his brain wiring than for mine. … Continue reading How Do I Get My Mom To Stop Mis-labeling My Autistic Nephew?

I have an almost-four-year-old who is pretty far on the scale of gender non-conformance. I keep stumbling over pronouns here — my kid doesn’t really have a grasp on pronouns yet for anybody (sometimes the dog is he and she in the same sentence) so we don’t sweat them for now, but my kid, assigned female … Continue reading How Do I Handle People Who Think My Kid’s Gender Is Their Business?

My work schedule means I work on the weekends. This is unusual for my workplace. By now I’ve learned to just say “thanks, you too!” when people tell me to have a good weekend on Friday, but I never know how to respond when they ask me if I have plans for the weekend. My work shifts mean I … Continue reading How Do I Handle Small Talk?

I tend to use gender-neutral language to avoid being heteronormative, most people assume this is code for “I’m GAY everybody!” They will then use incorrect pronouns when referring to my partner. While I am totally fine with their assumptions I wonder if I should correct them as a) it feels dishonest to continue as if their assumption … Continue reading Should I Out Myself As Straight?

How do I explain to my kids that there’s a whole lot of heteronormativity and monogamous expectation in the world? They’ve been raised a-religiously, around a lot of queer, alternative relationship structures and around people who are gender variant, and thus far haven’t absorbed the idea that there’s a whole world of “relationships are one born-man … Continue reading How Do I Talk To My Children About Heteronormativity?

My fiancé and I are both femme bi women and every time we are out and  about, minding our own business (while shopping, having brunch, going  to the gym, etc), someone inevitably asks us if we’re related. Or assumes we are sisters (the brother of a groom at a gay wedding!). Or, worse, mother and daughter (LGBT-friendly … Continue reading My Fiancé Is Not My Twin Sister

I deeply love and am committed to my partner. I love her, love being with her, and love our relationship. I want to be a great partner in a healthy, loving way. We’ve been through a few tough situations- a kid in the hospital, work stuff, etc and she and I usually work through it really well. This … Continue reading My Partner Loves Her Sick Cat More Than Her Family