I’m a woman who recently received a text out of the blue from someone–let’s call him A. A and I know each other loosely on a professional basis and share an interest in empowering our communities. Our conversation went something like this: A: Would you like to have lunch? Me: Yeah, it’d be great to touch base … Continue reading How Do I Say ‘No’ To Unwanted Invitations?

My father is an immigrant from Africa. I recently reconnected with a cousin on Facebook who is still in the old country and who I have never met in person as he is quite a bit younger than me. I’m really enjoying the connection and I’m I am helping him pay for school. However, I am a masculine … Continue reading How Do I (Gently!) Correct A Family Member Who Is (Probably Accidentally!) Misgendering Me?

I got invited to a baby shower in honor of soon-to-be parents who recently moved out of town. Yay, I thought, it’ll be so nice to see them and congratulate them.Then I reach the end: “This is a ladies-only event (sorry gentlemen!)” WTF? The invitation lists both parents names, the registry lists both their names, but only … Continue reading How Do I Deal With ‘Ladies Only’ Baby Showers?

I’m a generally nice person. I don’t take a lot of crap and I don’t like people, but I’m not mean. I’m interesting and smart and I’m not totally unfortunate looking- but I have RBF- resting bitch face. Constantly, but worse when I’m tired, which is all the time. It has led to some awkward social situations– which honestly, … Continue reading How Does a Girl with Resting B*tch Face Make Friends?

I’m hoping to be making a major career change within the next thee months. In addition to all the usual terror and uncertainty that entails, I’ve never had to navigate disability in a formal workplace, and could really use some wisdom. I have chronic pain and noticeable gait changes caused by some sort of vaguely diagnosed autoimmune … Continue reading How Might Disability Affect My Job Search?

I have an odd problem. My girlfriend has very few friends, and one of them is a racist. Her friend will say bullshit things about other ethnicities, especially African Americans, Asians, and Jews. This friend of hers is herself of mixed race (African American and white–although maybe that doesn’t matter.) I’ve often wondered if she says these things just … Continue reading How Do I Handle My Girlfriend’s Racist Bestie?

I’ve been reading a bunch of your advice columns today, and I came across one in particular, from “Walking Without Rhythm” that struck a chord with me. I am not physically disabled, so I can’t say that I understand what you and this person go through on that account, but I do deal with a fair bit of … Continue reading How Can I Be A Better Ally To Disabled People?

I am a woman back dating men again for the first time in many years which is stressful enough but I’m also in a complicated, non-monogamous situation that has me looking for open-minded, tolerant people to date. I’ve already had many creepy responses to my online dating profile and one chat with someone who seemed really … Continue reading How Do I Weed Out Creeps?

Note: I won't be having Poly Roundups as the Gentle Butch anymore -- I will answer these questions individually and with the loving attention they deserve. I am a 49-year-old bisexual cisman who has been partnered for more than ten years with two older het-married women. One of them is polyamorous; the other is not. So when … Continue reading Poly Roundup

My four-year-old child persists in thinking that certain things are okay for girls and not okay for boys, despite numerous attempts on my part to clear this up for her. The voice of her friends is stronger than evidence I have displayed to the contrary or me just flat-out disputing her claims. How can I convince … Continue reading How Can I Convince My Four-Year-Old That Gender Binaries Are Artificial?